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The BDSM Training Members
The trick with starting out with BDSM is that there aren’t a lot of step-by-step guides that can help you create an excellent session for You and Your partner. You tend to see a lot of general guidelines, but nothing too specific.
Instead of keeping everything a secret, here is an example session that you can use to see if a specific person will make a perfect slave for You the first time you meet them and decide to play together.
For submissives/slaves, it will be an excellent example to see what will be asked of you. It will take time to prepare, so be sure that Y/you read through this entire guide first to be sure you understand what to do and then keep it nearby for reference.
To set up this session, You will need to have a submissive/slave in mind who has contacted you and wants to enter into training of their own free will.
When You find someone who sounds like they have the most potential, arrange a session with them (You can also use this guide for a partner interested in training as a slave).
Don’t just jump into this session when you first meet someone. Get to know them and understand who they are in their vanilla and kinky life. Most importantly, negotiate any potential future training and/or play with your potential partner.
Submissives/slaves, you have the right and freedom to fully express what you do and don’t want to be incorporated into your training, and you must do so. Negotiating is not the time to be shy; let your voice be heard otherwise, nothing will ever go as you need, and you may end up in a bad situation that could lead to physical, mental, and/or emotional harm.
Also, know that any Dominant who refuses to listen to the limits and needs of a submissive/slave during and after negotiations is not a Dominant and should be avoided.
Many people have just jumped into a first session with someone they don’t know. What ends up happening is miscommunication, being pushed past limits, being forced into an overwhelming situation, and potential harm or injury, including mental, emotional, and physical. All because you didn’t take the time beforehand to get to know the other person, what they were looking for, what they desired and needed, and what their limits were.
COMMUNICATION, PATIENCE, and UNDERSTANDING are the keys to a successful first session. Get to know your future partner first in an open public vanilla atmosphere before you ever progress into a dominant/submissive dynamic.
Now assuming you have put in the all-important work of getting to know your partner beforehand and negotiated any D/s play/training, let’s begin the lesson.
Start by creating a list of things that will be expected of the slave when they arrive:
- Location and time they should arrive
- What they should wear or not wear
- A list of 7 to 10 items that they need to memorize (this could be a list of responses, rules of your house, submissive mantras, etc)
- A list of positions that they need to know
- A list of things that you may do to them during the session (keeping it mild for the first time)
This is not meant to be a strict punishment scene, in fact you are not punishing them at all. Punishment is meant for submissives/slaves that have been accepted into training already and who the Dominant has extensive knowledge of their abilities, what they are capable of handling and their limits.
The point of this scene is to gauge a submissive/slave’s desire to serve. Are they genuinely wanting to following the instructions you gave them or are they just looking for a kinky time where they get what they want.
There is nothing wrong with either scenario, but the Dominant needs to know the true desires of the submissive. This scene will help the Dominant to uncover what truly motivates the submissive – A desire to serve and please or a desire for play.
Beginning The Scene
If the slave arrives on time, You can skip the first part of this scene, but if not, you need to use one of the mild forms of punishments that you have previously agreed too during your negotiations. Remember this is not about punishing them as much as it is about seeing what they would prefer. Would they rather receive your praise or do they actively disobey so they can be punished on purpose.
Dom/me: And slave, why is it that you were late?
Slave: I have no explanation, sir (or ma’am or Master or Mistress).
Dom/me: Do you think this is something that I should tolerate?
Slave: No sir.
Dom/me: Do you think that you are making a good impression with me?
Slave: No sir.
Dom/me: Do you think that I should forgive this transgression?
Hopefully, they will say no at this point. If they say yes and provide an adequate answer, as a reasonable person you should consider forgiving them. If they say yes and giggle or smirk with no reasoning for their tardiness clearly they are looking for a punishment.
Dom/me: I do not tolerate someone that does not follow directions. For that, you will receive __________ (punishment).
Give him or her the punishment as You said You would. When You’re done, have them take up Instructional position.
You can test them in several ways.
-
- Ask them about the items that You told them to memorize.
- Test them on the positions you had them memorize.
- Have them recite the memorized list while they move from submissive position to submissive position.
With each task they fail to complete, have them receive the same punishment. When they do something correctly, rain down the praise upon them.
Watch how they facial expressions change, how their body responds, the intensity of their breathe and the noises that will inevitably escape their mouth. 93% of all human communication comes non-verbal communication with 55% coming from body language and 38% coming from the tone of their voice.
One of a Dominant’s greatest skills is their ability to observe, so don’t focus on what you are doing as a Dominant or what you should do next. Instead focus on how the submissive/slave is responding to what you are doing.
Keep track of their eyes, as they will try to look at you for guidance when they are unsure of an answer. This tends to be human nature and difficult for a new submissive to correct without it being brought to their attention. If the submissive is showing excellent promise, making no mistakes as you test them punishing them for eye infractions is a possibility that you might want to consider.
If however, they are making lots of mistakes, clearly have spent no time memorizing the list you have sent them and seem pleased as punch as to the possibility of a potential punishment. Chances are good, they are not interested any form of submissive/slave training but just love the idea of kinky funishment play. Therefore no point in correcting for eye infractions.
Dom/me: How were you supposed to prepare yourself before arriving?…Show Me that you followed My instructions to the letter.
Dom/me: Slave, do you remember the things that I told you to memorize?
Dom/me: Recite them to me…now in reverse…now in request position…what do you think these sayings mean?
Can’t tell from their body language if the submissive/slave would rather please you or just have a kinkier way to please themselves. Ask them!
You can ask the submissive at any time what it is they would rather have or what they would prefer without ever breaking the scene.
Dom/me: I don’t think you even tried to memorize the list I gave you or are you just making mistakes on purpose so you will be punished?
Wait for the submissive’s response
Dom/me: Your future is in your hands, what is it that you want? To make mistakes so you can receive some form of punishment or to be to a good sub/slave and please Me? What do you choose?
Don’t forget the importance of aftercare after a session with your submissive, this will help them to come back down and allow the both of you to reconnect on a different level. Also give them a day or two to process what happened during the scene and meet with them outside of the dungeon to go over how they are feeling and any emotions that came up during or after the scene. This is not a time to be judgemental, just listen and learn.
I hope you enjoyed the example lesson. This is just one of many new lessons that Master Bishop has created for free exclusively to BDSM Training Members. The whole idea is to give a step-by-step approach to fulfilling your fantasies and discovering more about yourself then ever before. You can always find more BDSM Lessons here to help you explore new horizons.
To Your Journey,
Master Bishop
P.S. If you’d like to send Me a Success Story, Question, or Comment, follow these guidelines:
1) Keep it short and to the point. Two paragraphs max.
2) Tell Me what’s working for you before you ask your question. I appreciate all of the “Your stuff is great” comments, but I do need to hear all of the specifics… because
this helps other people to see what’s working in different situations.
3) If you have a Success Story, write “Success Story” in the subject line of the email.
4) At the end of the email, give me your initials and tell Me where you’re from.
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