Academy

Before we jump into any form of BDSM training (Since I don’t know what you know and what you don’t know), a few things about the BDSM and Dominant/submissive lifestyle must be made clear.

What BDSM Training is, What it is Not

When you first think of BDSM, what comes to mind for you? If you were to ask ten people that question, chances are pretty good that you’d get ten different answers. And it’s no wonder with all of the BDSM-themed sites and blogs these days. But what is the truth about BDSM and what is just fantasy? Let’s find out.

There are several ways that people define BDSM – bondage, domination, submission/sadism, and masochism. For many, the term brings to mind the idea of whipping someone or heavy bondage – and you’d be correct in both cases. But what you might also want to keep in mind is that many different things can encompass BDSM:

• Bondage
• Whipping
• Flogging
• Spanking
• Electro-stimulation
• Verbal dominance
• Master – slave relationship
• Sex
• Etc.

You can look at BDSM in two main ways. One, it’s when you have a relationship or an agreement between people in which one person submits to the desires of the other, causing the connection to have one person dominating the other in some way, shape, or form. And /Or two, it can also be a relationship involving one person giving and one receiving pain or intense sensations.

While most people would consider BDSM a purely sexual relationship, this is not necessarily the case. Many BDSM players and groups focus only on the idea of control over another and not just in the sexual sense. Many couples or partners like to have a bondage or SM relationship that involves intense sensations for their sadistic or masochistic tendencies, but sex is never engaged. This allows people to explore their limitations in terms of pain and the control of one person over another.

With that in mind, many misconceptions about BDSM cause it to be ‘blasphemed’ and thought of as evil or dangerous. Just as with any different lifestyle you encounter, there are probably many things you have heard about BDSM – things that are not necessarily true.

What BDSM is NOT

Myth #1 – You can lock a person in a basement and torture them and call it BDSM.
The truth is if a submissive has not willfully consented to this sort of interaction, then you can not do it! It is against the law to hold someone against their will.

Myth #2 – You can beat someone senselessly and call it BDSM
Again, unless the submissive has requested such a severe beating (and some people do enjoy that level of intensity). It is against many laws in several countries.

While it’s true that BDSM can be dangerous, almost every relationship can be dangerous in some way – so let’s talk about the myths that many people have about BDSM to help you understand what is causing the misunderstanding.

BDSM and Dominant/submissive relationships are all based on a consensual relationship in which boundaries are discussed beforehand. Only when all parties have understood and agreed upon limitations can the scene occur.

It also must be clearly understood that the submissive can end any scene at any time. This is the point of a consensual Dominant and submissive relationship. While BDSM may be many things to many people, above all else, it should always be Safe, Sane, and Consensual at all times!

This means that you should never get involved in any activity that you do not feel comfortable with, is unsafe, does not utilize safety measures, or is beyond your capabilities.

For example:

• Never play with someone you don’t know and/or trust
• Always practice protected safe sex
• Never use someone else’s toys
• Never let anyone push you into doing something you are not comfortable with.
• Never consume drugs or alcohol before or while you are playing
• Never play when you are angry

Always keep your BDSM sessions at a point where you feel comfortable and safe physically, mentally, and emotionally.

Also, make sure that your partner understands your limits and respects them. You do not want to put yourself into something that could cause you or your partner permanent harm. This goes for both Dominants and submissives – Nothing in BDSM is meant to inflict permanent damage to a person.

BDSM is simply another way to bring excitement into a relationship – both sexual and non-sexual. Turning over one’s ‘power’ to another allows you to experience all the sensations you desire while being given the power to guide someone on a journey to exceed their expectations of themselves. However, all of it must be done in a safe, controlled, and consensual environment.